Drop It Like It’s Hot-6 week follow up!!

OK folks I’ve managed to make it into the top 25!!!

In 6 weeks
Height-5ft 7.5 in
Weight-157.0 lb (shooting for 135lbs-140lbs)
BMI-27.2% (shooting for 11%-15%)
BMR-1536kcal->( how many cals I burn at rest)- up by 63
Fat%-35.7% - Down by 2.8%
Fat Mass-62.lb - Down by 4.2%

Desirable Range
Fat%-22-33% (I’m shooting for 11-15%)
Fat Mass-28.2-52.2lb (I’m shooting for 20.2-25.0 lbs)

Segmental Analysis
Right Leg
Fat%-37.3% - Down by 1.5%
Fat Mass-11.6 lb
Predicted Muscle Mass-18.4 lb

Left Leg
Fat%-37.9% -Down by 1.6%
Fat Mass-11.6 lb
Predicted Muscle Mass-17.8 lb

Right Arm
Fat%-37.4% -Down by 1%
Fat Mass-3.2 lb
Predicted Muscle Mass-5.4 lb

Left Arm
Fat%-37.1% -Down by 1.6%
Fat Mass-3.4 lb
Predicted Muscle Mass-5.8 lb

Trunk
Fat%-34.1% -Down by 3.9%
Fat Mass-32.2 lb
Predicted Muscle Mass-59.6 lb

The Storyteller

I was one of those kids who learned to talk and write early. I found myself always telling these long-winded stories about my experiences, adventures, and history of my family to anyone who would lend an ear. I would sit and practice my signature for hours, and write out the alphabet on lined paper until my fingers were hurt and cramped. These stories I soon started writing down and thus-- a diarist I became. With this, I also came to realize that with two younger brothers getting into things and a parent always on the “watch”, there was never going to be any respect for personal privacy.

I think every teenage girl has a private place to keep her secrets, her innermost thoughts, love letters to a current crush, and private mentionings of coming into adolescence. Mine was a black leather accounting ledger purchased at the local Wal-Mart that I kept hidden in the overhead-ledge of my closet. I held nothing back when I wrote in my journal. Ever-- I mean nothing. It was awesome! It was much cheaper than a shrink and much more discrete than my “blabber-mouth” best friend. I quickly learned that by writing out my innermost feelings, I could get them out, yet keep them all to myself. No one would know. I wouldn’t have to subject myself to the taunts of other kids who “didn’t understand me,” worry about walking through the halls, and hearing whispers about whom I liked at the moment, and certainly wouldn’t have to continually reiterate to my best friend that she couldn’t tell anyone. I simply never desired that kind of attention.

I accidentally left my diary on my bed one day, parents being the way they are about their kids discovered there were quite a few entries about how I “…cried all day because I found out from LJ that John asked some other girl to the dance. I thought he liked me especially after we made out at the roller rink on Saturday. Guess I’m not pretty enough…” and how “…I made out with Corey in the back of LJ’s dad’s boat...” was a bit too detailed for my folks… oops! After that, I didn’t keep a journal for about 10 years and I'd missed it. Until about 1990, when I had a bad breakup and was physically unable to communicate to anyone how I felt about it. Only then did I turn back to that old friend: that black leather accounting ledger to write it all down in excruciating detail.

Several years and diaries later, one of my girlfriends whom I hadn’t spoken to in a while e-mailed me indicating that I could “keep in touch” without having to make a single phone call, write a single letter, or speak a single word. She called it an “Online Journal.” I was astonished that she could be audacious enough and post her inner most private thoughts on the web for the whole world to see. I could sit in the privacy of my own home and read about all the things she had done in the past week. The things she wrote about were the same subjects we would sit and have three-hour conversations discussing: her marriage, updates about her kids, what was going on at work, things rolling around in her head. She suggested that since I also kept a diary, perhaps I should post online as well, and I could use it as a vehicle to update my friends and family about my life-- be a personal storyteller. I wondered if putting my thoughts on line would make me conceited, narcissistic, or presumptuous? I didn’t think that way about my girlfriend or her writing. Then I wondered about who would care. I do have family and several friends who live in other states who want to know what’s going on with me, and maybe somewhere in the mix I could get some feedback, support, or shared stories from others about similar experiences. You see, I had a choice to make; I could keep completely silent and refrain from keeping any sort of journal at all, or see what happened if I let others know what my thoughts and opinions were. Perhaps I’d get some alternative perspectives, become a better writer and a better person for it.

I have found that inspiration comes more often now, my thoughts and ideas are validated, and I am a better person and writer now. I have reconnected with old colleagues, high school friends, and members of my extended family whom I never knew existed. Some of my entries turn out to be entertaining, some inspirational, but all are fulfilling to me, and I thank my readers profusely everyday for allowing me to indulge myself. I like that I have the ability (whether writing on paper or online) that I cannot just recall any given experience, but the ability to re-live them as well. I have the opportunity to share the stories of my family’s history and give a bit of myself as well. I often feel as if life is running away from me at an alarming rate, and I want to remember that amid the life I have experienced, it is the actual living I want to chronicle. I seem to be working so much these last few years and it’s the “life” portion that seems to escape me. There were so many moments that deserved to be captured, but never were. We lose moments, and they deserve to be captured because once they’re gone, they’re gone.

If find that writing helps me define the shadowy elusive things in the background that sometimes disturb me, gives me answers that I didn’t have before, and gives me peace of mind that perhaps my ideas and perspectives aren’t so strange after all.

I Vomited on my Shoes...

OK, gotta tell ya that dealing with my mortgage or even talking about it for that matter makes me physically ill. I’ve been writing about how for the last 6-7 months my mortgage adjusted and it’s been making my finances really tight….How I can’t refi because the market etc is so bad…My last attempt at a re-fi tanked because within a 4 month period my house depreciated by $25,000, well I found out just the other day that the value of my house depreciated again, now to be worth less than what I paid for it. It certainly doesn’t help that 7 properties in my community are in default.

I made an appt to go into my mortgage guy’s office at 10a to contact both lender’s and see if they can shave off $7,000 between the two of them, that way I can re-fi into a 30 year fixed and finally have payments be a bit more manageable…

We call the first one-twice and got an answering machine… We called the second and got a chick named Stacey. What a cow! She laughed and then asked “What’s the incentive for us?” My mortgage guy laid it out and she basically told us that if I default or not matters not to them for they will get their money no matter what. If she were me she’d sell the house and pay them their share of the money…. At this point I was pissed. I instantly shot back, “Hey, this isn’t funny, nor is this fun for me. I’d rather be doing something else other than dealing with this. I think a little empathy is in order here and if you’re this apathetic you must be very good at your job…” I told my mortgage guy to mute the phone and freaked out about how what a jerk she was being about it. I understood that they need to play hardball but to tell me that they’d go after me for “everything I’ve got” Is just plain out mean and unnecessary. She could have cared less if I was dying on top of the house as long as I keep paying… By the time the conversation was over both hands were covering my mouth and tears of anger were streaming down my face. This is why I had to have someone speak on my behalf. I know enough about myself to know I would either cry or get pissed. My mortgage guy came up with another alternative, to re-fi at the 30 yr fixed and then set me up with a small loan for $7,000. I immediately cried and said no. I felt it was taking a step backward and I still need to pay my folks a large chunk of debt they are taking on for me. With a couple of days to think about it. I think to be able to finally put this to bed, I’m going to do it. Just to be able to lock down the rate.

We are in process of negotiating with each lender to see if they'll take off money of each loan and I can re-fi with taking on any more debt. He seems to thing I have a shot in hell so I’m hoping we do and can move forward with this…I was so damn upset this whole thing on Wednesday I literally barfed over the side of the parking ramp before calling my ex to have him “talk me down” to sanity enough to drive myself home.
I’m certainly not happy that I will have to work the airport job until summer, not happy that I have to now find a roommate until summer and that I will in debt again and have to wait on buying a car until summer. All contingent on whether or not these lenders will play ball. I’m not sure if I feel all that comfortable with anyone or anything controlling my life this much, but I love my house so I guess I better get used to it.

Youyouyou!!!

Leave your name in my blog comments.

Once you do that, this is what I’ll do for you…

1. I’ll respond with something random about you.
2. I’ll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I’ll pick a flavor of jello to leg wrestle you in.
4. I’ll say something that only makes sense to you and me.(if possible. if not, I’ll say something that only makes sense to me.)
5. I’ll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I’ll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I’ll ask you something I’ve always wondered about you.
8. If you play, you MUST post this on yours. You MUST damn it!

Laura said this about me....


K:
1. You know many random people. - I know, wierd huh?
2. “Here I Go Again” by Whitesnake - small breasteses like Tawny Kitaen?
3. Green, baby. -I don't get this one...
4. Which Nelson was it, again? - HEE! It's G!
5. Dinner at Bill and Shannon’s with my ex, you had on red panties! ~grin~ - It frightens me that I don't remember this....!
6. Leopard. - Spotted? Death strike?
7. Why don’t you teach music anymore? - Cuz I'm old and set in my ways!

Meanest Love Songs-via Spinner and K

If Valentine's Day is when we celebrate infatuation and devotion, it's also a time of pain for the jilted and the lovelorn. The artists represented in the following 20 songs, which expose the flip side of romance, would likely agree with fellow bitter scribe Joe Jackson's words: "Fools in love -- are there any creatures more pathetic?" So, yeah, it's almost that time again.
Happy Fucking Valentine's Day People!!

'Go Your Own Way'--Fleetwood Mac (1977)
The Kiss-Off: "Packing up, shackin' up's all you want to do"
Stevie Nicks supposedly insisted that her then-boyfriend, bandmate Lindsey Buckingham, remove the line from this enthusiastic sayonara, which gave the Mac arguably their most enduring hit. Buckingham refused, and he had the added satisfaction of getting his soon-to-be-ex to sing backup on her own send-off.

K’s Take- I never understood what the big deal was about the lyric itself…It’s not like he sings “hey you, fuck off!”. Perhaps he should have. The album itself is an honest, and intense sparring of 4 pissed off people taking some serious shots at each other and makes for a fantastic damn album. If you don’t OWN “Rumours” you have no taste in music.

'Under My Thumb'--The Rolling Stones (1966)
The Kiss-Off: "It's down to me/The way she does just what she's told, down to me"Seriously: Did any girl ever push Mick Jagger around? Hard to reckon, but if there's truth in these lyrics, at least one did – until Jagger turned the tables. Now she's either a contradictory "squirmin' dog" or a "Siamese cat of a girl." Either way, safe to assume this is not a big chart-topper on Gloria Steinem's iPod.

K’s Take- I always though Mick Jagger was a dick, I think this is the proof!


'Ex-Factor'--Lauryn Hill (1998)
The Kiss-Off: "No one's hurt me more than you/And no one ever will""Yo, it ain't workin'." Gotta figure that's what someone in the studio said when the Wu-Tang Clan sampled Gladys Knight's version of 'The Way We Were' for their classic 'Can It Be All So Simple.' Ms. Hill then recycled the Wu's recycled version for this, her futile plea for the simple life. "Loving you is like a battle," she tells her man, who best be looking out: She's got skills.

K’s Take- I love Lauren Hill but recycling a song just to recycle it again is just plain dumb. If she’s got skills, then write a new song for Christ sake!



'The One I Love'--R.E.M. (1987)
The Kiss-Off: "A simple prop to occupy my time"Oh, Monsieur Stipe, you are a clever, clever man. Wholly uninterested in writing the old, formulaic type of romantic ditty, the singer crafted his band's first big pop hit by masking a wicked putdown as an old, formulaic type of love song.

K’s Take- Is it just me or does his voice just sound like a drone? Enough said..



'I'm Looking Through You'--Beatles (1965)
The Kiss-Off: "I thought I knew you/What did I know?"The bitterness was directed at Jane Asher, Paul's actress girlfriend. While he blamed her for giving her career priority over romance, he neglected to mention the fact that his routine one-nighters were at the root of the couple's troubles. Asher supposedly inspired several McCartney tunes, including 'You Won't See Me' and 'We Can Work It Out.'

K’s Take-They say that out of the worst situations comes the best of songs..and it’s Paul McCartney for God’s sake, I could only wish he’d write a song about me!!


'Hit 'Em Up Style (Oops!)'--Blu Cantrell (2001)
The Kiss-Off: "Found another way to make him pay for it all"American consumers have been up to their gills in credit card debt for years now, and this one-hit wonder let us know why: Men who cheat can be sure their ladeez will get their payback at Saks. For the shattered dreams (oops!), the house (oops!), the lies -- fellas, this is what you owe.

K’s Take- She must have been really pissed when she wrote this. Good song but a bit over the top. Should give cheating guys a bit of a scare, for there’s nothing like a woman scorned and this is proof!

'I Want You'--Elvis Costello (1986)
The Kiss-Off: "It's the thought of him undressing you or you undressing"From perhaps the ultimate kiss-off artiste -- on this album alone, 'Blood and Chocolate,' he gave us the sweet nothings 'I Hope You're Happy Now' and 'Home Is Anywhere You Hang Your Head' -- Costello outdid himself with these chilling, murderous seven minutes. "I want you so it scares me to death," he sings, but it won't be his death.

K’s Take- I love him but this whole album is sort of creepy. You think his wife Diana Krall has listened to it yet? I’m thinking not!

'Two Out of Three Ain't Bad'--Meat Loaf (1977)
The Kiss-Off: "I want you, I need you/But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love you"Writer Jim Steinman wrote this after hearing Elvis' 'I Want You, I Need You, I Love You' on the radio. "Baby, we can talk all night," sings the Loaf, rather sweetly, speaking for all men in relationships. "But that ain't getting us nowhere."

K’s Take- I think this is the saddest song I’ve ever heard. An ode to the dead end relationship.


'Possession'--Sarah McLachlan (1993)
The Kiss-Off: "And I would be the one to hold you down, kiss you so hard, I'll take your breath away"The lyrics were inspired by McLachlan's real-life stalker, who "won't be denied." The guy actually tried to sue her for paraphrasing his love letters, but he killed himself before the suit reached trial. That, friends, is what you call giving "love" a bad name.

K’s Take- It's kinda creepy if you ask me. I thought this was a love song, not a stalker song. I’d agree with “There’s a thin line between love and hate” on this one.

'Caroline No'--The Beach Boys (1966)
The Kiss-Off: "Could I ever find in you again/ Things that made me love you so much then?"Hair can be such a bummer. When Caroline cuts off her beautiful long tresses, her boyfriend agonizes that she'll never be the same again. Inspired by a real-life girlfriend of Tony Asher, Brian Wilson's writing partner on 'Pet Sounds,' the album it closes, the song was initially called 'Carol, I Know,' but Wilson misheard the phrase.

K’s Take- Seriously?? Someone kill me!

'Tunnel of Love'--Bruce Springsteen (1987)
The Kiss-Off: "Lights go out and it's just the three of us/ You, me and all that stuff we're so scared of"It's quite a metaphor, the two lovebirds freaking out in the tunnel (after the fat man with the tickets eyeballs his honey). They laugh at each other in the crazy mirrors, but it's not funny: "The house is haunted." In real life, the Boss soon divorced his first wife, actress Julianne Phillips.

K’s Take- I think this song is pretty matter-of-fact. If I were Julianne Phillips I would have figured “The Boss” and I were having some serious issues… Hey, did he steal this guitar from prince? Hmmm….


'Cry Me a River'--Justin Timberlake (2002)
The Kiss-Off: "Your bridges were burned, and now it's your turn/To cry"It ain't about Britney, Timberlake claimed. "Boys will be boys," she shot back. The video's a stone classic – JT breaks into not-Britney's house to film himself with another girl. Copping the name of the timeless Julie London song: no matter. Having survived the train wreck that is Ms. Spears, Timberlake was more than justified.

K’s Take- I think he cursed her dumb ass with this song. I’m sure he laughed hisself to the bank with this song. JT as you can see your MUCH better off without her, she’s crazy!!!


'These Boots Are Made for Walkin''--Nancy Sinatra (1966)
The Kiss-Off: Duh!Writer-producer Lee Hazlewood insisted that a guy should sing it, but Nancy was adamant. At a writing session at the Sinatra family spread, Frank sat in another room while his daughter made her case. When Hazlewood left, Frank told Nancy she was right. The guy's lyin' when he oughta be truthin', same-in' when he oughta be changin' – you'd walk all over him, too.

K’s Take- Go get em’ girl!!


'Idiot Wind'--Bob Dylan (1975)
The Kiss-Off: "You're an idiot, babe/It's a wonder that you still know how to breathe"Dylan's 'Blood on the Tracks' is his divorce chronicle, and though Dylan is typically mum, his son Jakob vouches for it. "The songs are my parents talking," he has said. The narrator, despite envisioning his ex's death in the saddle and the flowers on her tomb, doesn't exempt himself from blame: "We're idiots, babe," he laments. "It's a wonder we can even feed ourselves."

K’s Take- Out of all the songs on this countdown this one would piss me off.. I hate Bob Dylan but the man has a way with words, no matter how brutal!


'Dry'--PJ Harvey (1993)
The Kiss-Off: "You leave me dry"Fellas, just be glad she didn't tell us what she really thinks.

K’s Take- She could have said worse…







'You're So Vain'--Carly Simon (1972)
The Kiss-Off: "You probably think this song is about you"Did she mean Mick Jagger, who sang backup? Simon, who has otherwise remained cagey about this mystery, suggests no. Cat Stevens or Kris Kristofferson, both of whom she dated? Says here the odds-on favorite is ex-flame Warren Beatty, who undoubtedly, in those years, had one eye in the mirror as he watched himself gavotte.

K’s Take- I’m thinking this was about Warren Beatty. Now he’s got 4 kids and the missus to slap him around a bit. No chance to gavotte now huh Warren? Can he even gavotte now without breaking a hip?

'Unhappy Birthday'--The Smiths (1987)
The Kiss-Off: "Because you're evil and you lie, and if you should die/I may feel slightly sad, but I won't cry"If 'Happy Birthday to You' is considered the most popular song in the English language, then you'd think this fiendish rejoinder would rank reasonably high just from the blowback. Morrissey, who is worshipped in several languages for his unadulterated bitchiness, may have reached a venomous saturation point with this gleeful toodle-oo.

K’s Take- Morrissey is as lyrically gifted as Elvis Costello and Bob Dylan…

'You Oughta Know'--Alanis Morissette (1995)
The Kiss-Off: "Every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back, I hope you feel it"Like 'You're So Vain,' Alanis' signature song involves an unnamed lover whose identity has been the subject of mucho speculation over the years. Was it old boyfriend Dave Coulier? Matt LeBlanc? Any number of hockey players? We're partial to the rumor that it was actually Coulier's 'Full House' co-star Bob Saget.

K’s Take- I’m thinking it was Pee-Wee Herman, Dave Coulier is just as nerdy..



'By the Time I Get to Phoenix'--Glen Campbell (1967)
The Kiss-Off: "She'll cry just to think I'd really leave her"He knows she'll laugh when she first reads the goodbye note, since he's tried to leave her so many times before. He'll be in Albuquerque when she dials his number around lunchtime; all the way to Oklahoma by nightfall, when she'll realize this time it's for good. One of the most-covered songs of its time, it just goes to show the universal agony of the protracted breakup.

K’s Take- Glen you hung out with Tanya Tucker waaay too long..

'Smile'--Lily Allen (2006)
The Kiss-Off: "When I see you cry, it makes me smile"He calls her up for "a whine and a moan," but he was the one shagging the girl next door. Allen, who, according to her mother, once OD'd and slit her wrists over a boyfriend, gets the last laugh: 'Smile' was a U.K. No. 1.

K’s Take- Over a GUY?! She may get the last laugh but she also gets the award for being the most pathetic!

Tired of It All...

I’m tired of plugging away at the house situation with no end in sight…Pissing me off now and am thinking of doing something drastic about it….

I’m tired of working two friggin’ jobs to the point of exhaustion and not having time to do much of anything!

I’m tired of having to worry about money and my future.

I’m tired of having to worry about my health and stress levels every day

I’m tired of being screwed when it comes to my love life. I’m not one to be blind-sided but I’ve been blind-sided a lot as of late!

I’m tired of being told there’s something wrong with me if I’m not married and having babies. Helllooo, don’t want either, people!!!

I’m tired of being told I’m old! 38 isn’t old!

I’m tired of working pointless and boring jobs.

I’m tired of not being paid what I’m worth!

I’m tired of dealing with indecisive people.

I’m tired of dealing with people-period!

I’m tired of being told that I’m not skinny enough! Hellooo, I workout 5 days a week and am a healthy size 10, some people aren’t meant to be a size 2!

I’m tired of double standards! It’s ok for a guy to be flabby and out of shape but that same guy wants a perfect “model” size 2.

I’m tired of younger girls not having enough self esteem and thinking the only way to get a guy is to make out with your g-friend or show your body. What ever happened to leaving something to the imagination?

I’m tired of having to prove that I don’t need a college degree to do a job, I have the experience..

Of Course He Does!

It was pointed out to me recently that my current “Crush”, the one noted in my last blog, now has a g-friend. Yep, of course he does and why wouldn’t he? He’s a fairly good looking guy, in the local eye enough to have his choice of girls. Why would he choose a smart girl who would be a confident observer; his silent champion over some random chick that resembles one of his most rabid groupies? Why would he want a woman who takes care of herself over a girl who would rather starve herself into a size 2? Hmmm, I’m not sure I know the answers to these questions, but I am very disappointed that he chooses the latter of the two based on what it is- literally. Granted he doesn’t even know that I liked him or my name for that matter. He’s seen me, boy has he seen me, but I don’t think he’s put two and two together as being the blonde, curly haired girl and the blonde/black straight haired girl that comes to the shows.

As far as his new g-friend is concerned, I would think it would be common knowledge that it’s never a good idea to make it known to everyone that you are a public person’s g-friend/b-friend, wife/husband with the expectation of the public to care. If they do, you might find yourself with a bloody horse head next to you in the morning. Any decent artist worth their salt is gonna have tons of rabid fans, national or local.. Contingencies….


This one apparently is “Crush’s” personal cheerleading squad and happened to announce to a friend (on a crowded dance floor no less) that she was indeed his latest flavor of the month whilst trying to get his attention by screaming his name and holding his hand while he was performing. One of my friends’ overheard it and had informed me. That was just two people, and if I heard it, you know several others had too.


I was and remain disappointed. Before she arrived, he spent his usual time staring at me from behind the amps, and then after she arrived I got to spend the rest of the time staring at his back. Which leads me to believe that there is intent to cheat…not good.

While I remain disappointed, please note my self- esteem remains intact. You're not going to see this girl sitting around sulkying over it for I didn’t like him because he was in a band; I liked him because I thought he was smart, witty and perhaps interesting. We seem to have a lot in common…. I was apparently wrong. I’m sort of glad it turned out this way and he didn’t reject me, for I certainly don’t deal with rejection well...at…all. Out of the 974,252,598 men in Minnesota I have a buffet to choose from, so get in line and take a number, you have now been taken out unless you can prove that your IQ is higher than your current flavor’s.