Nothing Like Watching Your Idol Trip & Fall...

Sunday Night- April 20th
We all pile in Beth’s car to travel the 5 hours from Minnesota to Green Bay, Wisconsin.
We arrived to our room at about 5-5:30p and got all dolled up to meet the girls and see the Nelson Brother’s show.
We hit the lounge around 6-6:30p and met up with Hensch, Tracy, Barb and Connie. The Twins hit the stage around 7:30p. We all were excited and really got into the music etc. We recognized some “repeat offenders” from the last year (I’ll explain this later). Generally we all had a good time. A few of us hit the merch table and then out to the lobby for the usual meet and greet, only the Twins didn’t show. My group and a few others sat out in the lobby for 30-40 mins waiting until I realized that what we were waiting on wasn’t going to happen. Apparently one of them has a penchant for much younger girls that are a size 4 and under. He was too busy catering to his and her ego to bother with any of us. We figured, to hell with that, and we went on our merry way to Denny’s for some eats in our jammies and then hotubbing until about 3am.

Monday Night-April 21st
I wake up at 10am to the maid trying to get into our room. Scared the crap out of all of us. Shannon took off for a bit with Hensch and The Beth, Em and I all slowly got up and dressed to head on down to breakfast. Sure as shit hitting the fan there were the guys sitting diagonally from us having breakfast and a fairly heated phone conversation. We let them be and continued to have our breakfast. Apparently Bret Michaels was in town too and a few of the girls felt it necessary to get his autograph. I declined; afraid I might lose IQ points if I got too close. A few hours and drinks later the Twins hit the stage and rocked us out for 2 hours. Once the Bret Michaels show ended, all his “insecure and scantily dressed” fans came into the lounge and caused all sorts of havoc. I was verbally assaulted by some drunk guy and his friend who wanted to:
A- take pictures of my ass,
B-Wanted to buy me a drink,
C- Give me a kiss.
When I declined on all accounts he got pissed and pitched a huge fit which seemed to get Gunnar’s attention. We were all in line for the “Meet and Greet” when I hear one of the Twins getting a bit “bitchy” about how we have to get the line moving, hurrying up, and being picky about which one got to take pictures with whom. The Beth came up and indicated that she wasn’t going to get her pix with them if that was the attitude. I agreed and passed as well. Now I was getting pissed. In years past, the guys were more than accommodating. Saying hi to us in the halls and thanking us for coming etc. None of that so far. Not even a smile-what the f-uh?! Then it occurred to me, He’s bitchy due to one of two things. 1- All his liaisons were there wanting his attention. 2- He wanted to get laid. See the first night we were blown off because “Denny’s girl” the girl that was at Denny’s with him last year (she’s approx 21-22 years old and about a size 4), then “rake face” who was an ass to a few of my friends in Milwaukee last year, and whores herself out to get G-man’s attention had shown up, then lastly “Thing 1 and Thing 2” who (probably about 21-22 years old and size 4’s as well) who are little assholes as they rudely sat their butts in front of the oldsters at the casino and refused to move when asked by me and the oldster. Hmmm, I figure, whatever and the girls and I go about our night as usual. We went to Denny’s (again) celebrated what I thought was going to be The Beth’s birthday and to my surprise, mine too!! BOON!!! I was stunned to even be included!!!

After dinner we went back to the hotel to swim and hit the hot tub! When we hit the lobby of the hotel, who was there; Matt and G, with “rake face” waiting by the elevator. Apparently she asked a couple of the girls what we’d been up to. Why would she care? Grrrr.

We decided to hit the sheets at about 4am and around 4:15a Shan, The Beth, Em and I get a call from the other girls indicating she bumped into the “single” Twin coming onto the elevator with “Thing 2” and both looking all disheveled. I was surprised and pissed. See, none of us want to “hook up” with him. We enjoy the music, I’ve personally liked them since the beginning, most of us have. They both (one more than the other) claim they try to be “Christ-like” and don’t do that sort of thing. Time and time again it’s been talked and written about and to see this pisses me off. Nothing like catching your idol doing something they claim they’d never do-it’s disappointing at the very least. The part that pisses me off is the hypocrisy and the fact that they both blew off their fans “bread and butter” for a piece of ass. Niice. As with most insecure chicks who wanna get laid by musicians; they would wait until the cows came home to get with them. This instance is no different.

Tuesday-April 22nd
We all slowly got up, showered and changed. After hanging out for a bit me and a couple of the girls decided to workout. I change into my sweats, pull my hair back and wash up my face and wait for the elevator. The elevator door opens and who is in it? Gunnar, Matthew and JP. I get in-in between Matthew and JP. I instantly get pissed all over again. I look over and G-man is staring at me. I rub my blood shot eyes and stare right back. He realizes that he’s staring and proceeds to check his hair in the reflection in the picture across from JP and I before the elevator door opens and he charmingly asks me if I’d like to exit before them. I glare and say “yep, thanks” as I exit. I don’t even look back as I storm into the workout room muttering to myself about what an ass he is. None of them said hello or anything when I was in the elevator. Matthew was on his cell and JP was staring into space..????? After I had time to chill out, I realized “Wow K, you look like shit and were in the elevator in front of these guys looking like shit!! HA!!!”
I go back to our room, shower, change, and head down to the lounge with the rest of my friends. I notice “rake face” staring at my friends and I periodically, then she smiled. My first thought, “ Oh, hell no you don’t!” I let it go and rocked out to the show. We skipped the “meet and greet” and decided to go get something to eat. We eat and spend our last night hot tubbing. As we leave for the pool we see a local and “rake face” walking with JP to his room. I thought, “You gotta be kidding me!?” This is the sort of crap I try to avoid and certainly do not want to be apart of. What is so damn awesome about being some rock star’s one night stand in Wisconsin??? If I wanted a one nighter, I could get one –so could anyone…I just don’t get it and I don’t want that crap around my friends either.
Anyway, I crashed early, around 1:00am I think. I was too tired to stay up and hang out.

Wednesday, April 23rd
We all woke up early the next and last day in Green Bay. We all had breakfast together and stood outside; trying not to be the first to say goodbye and get the waterworks a rolling. Sure enough, after about an hour we literally had to say goodbye. We hugged, cried and said our goodbyes before heading back to our individual homes and lives.
On the 5 hour drive back home I continued to debate whether or not I should go back in August. If I do I’m not sure if I want to see the Nelson twins. I was not impressed with the attitude and shoddy treatment of us, all over a few stoopid groupies. I certainly don’t want those chicks hanging around my friends and I. I also don’t want to condone that type of behavior either.

God, Finally !!!

Well I finally got up the nerve to speak to “Crush” again. I’m beginning to wonder if I intimidate him. If that is the case, I’ll be pissed.
It happened the second night of The Beth’s party and she, D, and myself all approached him. The Beth did her “patented” move and he turned around. She mentioned the fact that he added things to his repertoire that were really great and she left it open for me to add….I think I said something stooped like “yeah, you really rocked it..” and “yeah, I really like when you did this….” WHAT?! HUH?! I didn’t know what else to say so D took over. She shoved him and said “Hey what’s up?”, “How are you?” yadda, yadda, yadda before some dumb girl interrupted us with a retarded request.
Granted the man is clueless about how much I like him. The thing I have noticed in the two times I’ve spoken to him is that he looks at everyone else but me when I’m in front of him. When I’m not right in front of him, we usually end up locked eyes and smiling at each other or he’ll go back to staring at me. Pisses me off. We are both chickens apparently.
I know I’m driving all my friends crazy with this thing so in talking with Das and P about it. They are guys after all and “Crush’s” age. They both think I should ask him out. Just a simple “hey, you wanna go get something to eat after the show?” or “wanna meet for a drink sometime in the next week?” I’ve always thought that if a guy wanted to go out with me etc, he should be the one to ask me, but this guy has girls coming out of his ears and he doesn’t know me from Eve so perhaps I should be the one to ask. If he expresses disinterest…oh well…I guess…..

Appraisal

K’s assessment of work: “While I have prior experience in my current field I feel that I need to be challenged more via more work, and more complicated tasks that require the use of my strengths and knowledge base. At this time I do not feel that my strengths are being utilized which unfortunately result in more mistakes. My boss and I have discussed a general "plan" that will hopefully utilize my skill set and have me become more of an asset to the dept. I also am in the process of completing my B.A. in the next 18 months."

They said: K has learned the basics of her new role. She has made some progress in her concerns about interrupting or intruding, since the beginning in her position; her confidence has increased. She has been particularly helpful in figuring out IT and systems issues which was a skill we did not know she possessed. She has done good job coordinating special events (i.e. Classes and a Manager’s Retirement Party). In terms of the quality of her work and relationships, she has a number of opportunities going forward. It will important to double check her work for accuracy; there have been periods in which the accuracy of her work has been problematic. Equally important is the need for her to ask for direction when clarity is needed to complete the work requested of her. K needs to ask for more work if she has capacity; she would bring more value to the team by proactively identifying opportunities where she can take initiative to support her teams. K needs to be more resourceful in resolving problems: Sometimes it seems she stops at the first dead end or doesn’t try alternate solutions. This includes everything from finding cell phone numbers to setting up timely meetings with executives. There are times when if she cannot do something immediately or doesn’t have a solution or know how to leverage her in house network she will flatly respond “NO” to the request. Extra effort or a conversation about why she cannot assist would be helpful in developing solid relationships; without this she appears to be unapproachable and intimating. In addition people on the team end up doing things themselves because they don’t know how to reach/find her. From a feedback perspective, she can be defensive and doesn’t take responsibility for her mistakes. Some of the people she supports have begun to do the work themselves because it gets done with accuracy and in a timely manner; it’s just “easier to do it myself.”

For the first time in my working life, I received a C on my appraisal. All of the things that made me an A lister at the bank, are the same things the Electronics company hates about me.
I was told that this is typical for anyone who’s been with the company for 10 months. I had to politely remind that I’m not just anyone, and I find this unacceptable. I found a majority of it unfair and untrue.
Suck a fire out of my ass, I’m outta here.

Loves Me Some Gavin DeGraw

If I was a rockstar (I guess I am in my own mind hmm?) I’d be a female Gavin DeGraw.
He’s also very hot!!!!!

Here’s his latest!!!


I’m in Love with a Girl-Gavin DeGraw
So many people gonna say that they want you,
To try to get you thinking they really care,
But there's nothing like the warmth of the one who has put in the time and you know he's gonna be there,
Back your border when she knows someone crossed it,
Don't let nobody put you down, who you're with
Take the pain of protecting your name, from the crutch to the cane to the highwire

Chorus-
I'm in love with a girl who knows me better,
Fell for the woman just when i met her,
Took my sweet time when i was bitter,
Someone understands,
And she knows how to treat a fella right,
Give me that feeling every night, Wants to make love when i wanna fight,
Now someone understand me,
I'm in love with a girl(I'm in love with)(x2)

Out the many broken backdoors and windows,
Through the valley of the love of the lost,
Is a hole that is cut through the souls falling down from the thrones without leaving any windows, But you drown in a piece for the moment,
The moment was over in time,
Then its gone the hit and run the tactless one has a short life

Chorus-

Gonna tell you what you do to think you practice what you preach,
Now i know there's nothing we can't reach, 'cause the heart can't erase once it finds a place to be warm and welcome, To be held in shelter

Chorus-

Steady Tremor

The weekend was really good considering a few things happened..err, didn’t happen more or less.
I was set up by a friend to speak to someone and chickened out at the last minute after making a big deal about it. Pisses me off, how I can pretty much can talk to anyone but this ..one..stoopid..guy. Which brings up “Christian”. The guy for some bizarre reason has literally shattered any confidence I had. I find myself questioning everything these days, in constant doubt and needing self assurance. I’m even wondering why I work out anymore!! It’s pathetic and insane..the guy is a moron! Some of my friends have seen this and have taken it upon themselves to “torture” him a bit. Granted, it’s all immature but he hurt me, so I’m watching passively while my friends hurt him. Funny thing about it all is that they're mean as hell to him and he keeps coming back! If I’d known he was one for being tortured I’d a brought my riding crop and “toys” on our date and beat the crap out of him a bit!!

Bringing all this up brings me to the point of this entry…the thing we’ve dubbed “The Pipeline”… I have mentioned previous that I have a really good sense of intuition that I regularly ignore only to have blow up in my face…well, I’m feeling little “tremors” roll through and have felt something big is going to happen that will affect myself and roll onto my friends. I can’t be sure of what it is, only that it is happening. It started around my birthday and is slowly rolling itself out.
I’ll let you know what happens when it all rolls out because I thought I was the first one that it hit and I was wrong, it was Rachel and Anne…so…