In the String of Time…

My boss gave me a copy of the book “Excuse me, Your Life is Waiting”. The action made me want to cry. (I’m sure the reaction is menstrual)
The action is part and parcel to a string of decisions I’ve been making over the past several months. My life and how I really feel that I’m sort of “wasting” it since I’ve recovered. I mean I told myself during the process that I wasn’t going to be doing this anymore and at the time I meant it…Why hasn’t anything changed though?

1- First thing is first, I need to re-fi the house. Yep, gotta put the reins on that fucker and get it into a fixed. If I let it get out of hand again I’m screwed. I have about a year before the agreement I have with my lender expires, so I have to get my shit together. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the rates keep falling and perhaps I can maintain the same rate or lower.

The last time I spoke to my mortgage guy it was 6% and that was 3 months ago.

2- My debt. As Kelly told me the other day..”Everyone has debt..” I’m about $10,000 in it and don’t like. It’s the largest amount of debt I’ve ever been in. It’s all school, medical crap, car shit and the fact that when I was struggling to make payments on the house I pushed bills etc to the backburner… Anyways, I’d like to get some of it combined into my re-fi, maybe 3-4 thousand of it so I can pay off the rest and be done…

3- School… I have a year left on a double major and have been having a hell of a time trying to finish it up. I want a B.A. before I turn 40 and my Masters by the time I’m 45…I hope I can do it.
Some of the drama I’ve been experiencing at the airport got me to thinking more about this and how I want this to be the last time I have/need to work two jobs. I don’t want to be 50 years old and have to work two jobs just to pay my mortgage. I see myself on that path and would really like to take that hard right to avoidance and a better way of life.

4- Car… I have my eye on hopefully getting a newer car next year. I would really like a Honda Small Hybrid Sports Concept vehicle. It’s supposedly supposed to cost less than $20,000 and is said to be extremely efficient considering these next several years we are all needing to be less dependant upon gas. It’s also very “sexy” looking!!! Hee!

Agendas

Disappointingly, it seems that lately “Crush” has a new “g-friend”. The girls and I watched throughout the night his new fling “making nice” with his friends, g-friends of other band members and the band members themselves. She was doing the same things that I always see band girls (g-friends) do. What I call “peeing on trees” aka “marking their territory.”
I was talking to P about this the other night and granted it seems all too much like high strung, high school drama bull shit all over again, it’s one of those instances that has always caught my attention and eye-unintentionally.

I think some women (not all women) usually have some sort of an agenda when they meet a guy. They get a “preconceived” notion that a guy is a certain way. What his personality is like etc. We then bundle all that up and carry it with us throughout the relationship and impose that notion on the guy. The guy could be a tool and yet the women will throw this notion over him like a blanket, which unfortunately give him plenty of room to behave poorly. This is what is happens when a guy treats a woman like crap. She’ll continue to wait for him even though he’s taking his sweet time with whatever, well, because she’ll wait because she likes him. In the back of her mind is that belief that there’s that “notion” within his personality somewhere.

In relation to “Crush’s” new g-friend, granted, his job is to talk to all his fans to keep them coming. The more fans, the more money he makes-they are his bread and butter.
If she were at all smart, caring and secure with herself and relationship she’d be in the background and be more benign. She’d go to see his shows (not all of them), go separately, be with her own friends, sit anywhere but up front and center, not acquire his attention at all times and if she became tired, wave to him as she left to go home….

I think most men don’t like being “suffocated”, smothered or hung on. I believe most men, especially artisans hate it when their wife/g-friend interferes with their livelihood. This was another situation the girls and I observed when we went out.

The singer’s g-friend saw him speaking to a female fan. The g-friend not only gave the fan the once over and accompanied grimace, but came up to her singer b-friend and wrapped her arm around him, making her presence known. The female fan ignored her, then the g-friend continued to be obnoxious and rude to the fan (who just talking about music not about sleeping with him) who just ignored her. Singer/b-friend was noticeably pissed and snapped at his g-friend who pretty much blew him off and walked away. I wanted to be a bitch and just tell her that if she wants to continue to have a relationship with him, she needs to knock that crap off. He’s going to get sick of the shit and tell you to hoof it. This particular girl I’ve seen before. She always makes herself known to everyone in the area, pitches a fits if she can’t have a table in the front of the stage, feels the need to announce to people that she’s the singer’s g-friend. Recently, she held “court” with “Crush’s” g-friend and one of the other member’s g-friend’s, both making it known to whom they were attached too.

There is another woman who does this as well. It’s a constant fight to sit up front and see the band because this woman is adamant that she gets priority because she’s a wife. We aren’t there because we want to sleep with the band members (most are married), they are our friends and we like the music. Even though we get there to see them 2 hours early, this woman pitches a bitch-fit every time, telling us to move because she and her friends are more important because she’s the wife of one of the members. Being that I don’t want to make things uncomfortable for the other members of the band, I choose to ignore such “retarded and childish-groupie behavior”, but if pushed the “hammer will come down” so to speak. Intimidation tactics and bitching don’t work on me, just make me laugh at how dumb you really are, and if you don’t think so you’re sort of proving it to the world at large…

So next time your at a show, take look around at who’s in the front row. It’s probably not a groupie, but the insecure g-friend of a band member who’s got an agenda.

Rock n’ Roll all Night…Party Everyday!

I was sort of stymied on what to do this weekend since I had made plans to go to Chicago Friday, thru Monday. But as plans sometimes do, they fell through and I wasn’t able to go.

Friday, May 23rd

Worked all day and decided to go with The Beth and Rachel to Decoy’s in Hopkins for dinner and to see my favoritest band EVER-Hairball (loves me some RSB).

Saturday, May 24th

For Dayna’s birthday, Kelly, Dayna and I all decided to go to Valleyfair. I’m not one who rides the rides. To be honest I’m a huge “phobe”. I’m afraid of germs, heights and water so Valleyfair isn’t exactly conductive to any of those things. I got over it and myself quickly enough when the first ride we “warmed up” on was the antique cars and once the engine popped and Dayna practically had a stroke, I lost it!
After the antique cars we when on some water ride (no it wasn’t the flume) and were soaked. It took us all day to dry out and at 11am it was still in the 50’s and windy!
Then we hit the rollercoaster’s and the corkscrew. The corkscrew was sort of a turning point for me since it both encompasses water and heights but once I opened my eyes I was screaming with laughter at how fun it was. So, that was fun to say the least.
Around 4:30p we took our sunburned asses home to change before going to see Hairball at Primetime. Up until now Kelly was a Hairball virgin; that was before she was sensorally assaulted. She now loves them, especially the Happy-man (most flexible man in the universe). We drank (hush, I had seltzer water and cranberry juice), danced and oogled the boys until about 1:30a.

Sunday, May 24th

My folks had mentioned recently that they hadn’t seen me much these days so I decided to spend the day with them. Unfortunately my mum was working all day, so I spent the day with my dad.
Around 6p I headed over to Ernesto’s for a BBQ, “old school style”. Beer brats, roasted chicken, potato salad, beans, salad, dill potatoes and homemade apple pie! Once the sun started to set, we sat outside on the deck with beers and talked until our thoughts even hurt.

Monday, May 25th

Got up a bit early and went down to the Cannon cemetery to pay my respects to my grandparents (my maternal grandfather was a decorated WWII vet). Cleaned and spiffied up the house for the up and coming week.
Dad called and told me of a deal that Home Depot had on deck furniture so I bought 2 indoor/outdoor carpets, a deck set (4 chairs, table and umbrella) and a new doorbell; which I’ve been needing for about a year now. At sundown I sat out on my deck and enjoyed the smell of barley and freshly cut grass on my new patio furniture… So, all in all, I had a jam packed weekend, though it wasn't exactly what I planned.

More of the Airport Chronicles-Cha Ching!

Ok, so I come into work on Tuesday and get an e-mail notice from my boss/g-friend JD indicating that the Asshat from the store across the hall-the one with the “Golden Compass on the floor, yeah well, anyways he reported me to our DM for going into his store and talking to one of his employees. Huh?!

He and I got into it a few months back and I was trying to keep it amicable but nope. He’s the type of asshat who thinks he’s right about…everything. Now he doesn’t want me in his store. Whatever..

My friend Ryan, who recently scored a job with TSA was quitting. It actually was his last day on Sunday, so I swung over across the hall and spent a good 5-10mins in the hall saying goodbye etc. I looked over and saw Manager Asshat peeking around the corner and told the store staff what he was doing. Seemed a bit odd to me, but he is an asshole after all. Well, he told our DM that he was “pretty sure K wasn’t on break and she was in my store”. (eyes rolling) The pettiness of it and the drama of it all-I certainly don’t need it.

JD basically told both of them to get off my back and leave the hell alone. All I did was go talk to the guy-get over it.

It’s awesome having one of your g-friend's as your boss….

On the Odd Side…

Weirder things that have happened in the last several weeks at the airport.

- I saw this actress in my store. Kinda weird seeing her without the limp and no I’m not a fan of the show.

- Had a guy move the lamp and mannequin that are in the front window display and have a seat in the display chair just so he could check out the price of the sheepskin pillows. I nicely told him of get out of my window display and he got pissed, telling his wife that he “didn’t have to take any crap” from me. I figure if you can’t do it at Macy’s you can’t do it here…

- Had a lady come in and try on some clothes. When I asked how it all worked out she rude replied “I won’t be buying anything from you today”. To which I replied “So, I’m thinking that means they didn’t fit”? She proceeds to tell me that she doesn’t like my candor and I point her toward the exit of the store, replying “Excellent, then have a lovely day..”

- A married man comes in and starts flirting with me; telling me how he doesn’t understand how I’m not married blah, blah, blah. In the next breath tells me that I have “veiny, old woman hands” and can tell how old I am by looking at them. He guessed I was 40. I get a bit testy and burst out that I’m not 40 but 38 and that I lift and am an athlete. He replies “I see that your hands are nice and soft, you apparently use a lot of lotion”. My reply, “Does your wife tell you that you shouldn’t go up to ladies and say such things? Just wondering..” Great, now I’m fucking paranoid that my hands look like Madonna’s!!!!

Health Things, Marathon Training and Such…

Well my annual cancer screening was last week and I think for the most part it went well. I chose to work from home due to the soreness of being stuck, poked and prodded 3 times that week. I have a high threshold for pain but even I have my limits.

I postponed my PCOS exam until next week to catch up and recover mentally from last week’s dealy and to wait for the results.

The last week in May I’m reserving for the appt with my Sports Med doc. He’ll be poking and testing me cardio-vascularily to make sure I don’t have stroke if/when I start marathon training. Yep, gonna and TRY to do it. Whether I can or not remains to be seen. I have a feeling the PCOS is preventing me from losing my last 20-30lbs and my legs aren’t up to task of all the running I will need to be doing. We’ll see though.


Drop It Like It's Hot Ender..

I was planning on posting this in April but I was so pissed. The Drop It Like It’s Hot contest….The one I entered to see if I could win $2,000 for dropping the most weight or BMI..I was disqualified because I didn’t lose a thing in the last 6 weeks of the contest. I completely maintained everything. I was pissed, still am. I’m going to have to talk to my Sports Med Dr. I don’t see how I could maintain when I workout as much as I do, I’m thinking it’s almost impossible. Shit, I should be in top shape by now…

I’m thinking of just doing concentrations of leg and abs and 1 day a week the rest of my body. See if that helps. Grrr.

Comics/ More Feminine Than Me?/ One Crappy Job..

Comics

I’ve been a graphic novel fan forever! I moved a bit into comics when I was in junior high buying a few Spiderman, Superman, Batman, and Creep Show comics here and there. Some of my friends call me a comic-virgin…

I was always a fan of the Crow. For some reason the graphic novels seem very Shakespearian and romantic to me. I also met John O’Barr (creator of the Crow series) at Atomic Comics in Phoenix and yes, he’s very Shakespearian and tragic.

As of late I have a new comic lust. Iron Man. If you haven’t seen it..do.
It’s not exactly in my “comic” comfort zone but it’s damn good. I loved it. I’m a total “fact” geek and it scientifically made sense and was funny. It’s a Marvel comic character created by Stan Lee (Spiderman). I love Robert Downey Jr’s new look and boy now that he’s clean and sober; he’s become hotter at the ripe age of 43!! Hee! Oh! and if you do go see it, stick around until after the credits…there’s a bit of a surprise .... wink!


More Feminine Than Me?

I went out on a date with this HOT guy about a week ago. He asked me out. We started to hang out a bit and then it happened. He randomly bumped himself on something and I swear he squealed like a girl! Wha?! I felt bad for almost laughing due to the fact he hurt himself but I couldn't believe that reaction was coming out of this guy! His mannerisms etc are also very feminine, down to hand gestures. (Guys, it’s the equivalent of a woman having man hands!!!)

As the dates with him progressed I realized that this guy is more feminine than I am. I have a tendency to rotate toward guys who are “cowboys”. Motorcycle riding, boot wearing, tattoo wearing, piercing, man’s men. I’m a bit “rough and tumble” myself so .. Think of Russ Crowe getting hit and then screaming and jumping around like a 6 year old girl. Yeah-that! This guy looks the part but is not at all. I think the good Lord threw this guy an odd combo of being very “manly/masculine” looking but giving him the mannerisms of Nathan Lane. To say the least we will just be friends. Sigh.
He’s also a bit rude. Whether we were eating, working out, at the movies, or where ever..he always answers his cell phone. I’m certainly not partial to that!


Electronics’ Company

I’m going back to the bank. Seriously. I think I had the “Midas” touch there, for everything that can go wrong at the electronics’ company does. I think most of the people here are assholes or are drunk. I know they’re all driving me to drink that’s for sure. Not that I’m the brightest light on the tree but wholly shit people!

I’ve been planning a meeting event for the past 6 months with an event planner representing an outside company. I’d pretty much done this sort of thing at the bank so I’m thinking no problem right? Umm, not so fast there sports fans….6 months should be plenty of time to plan an event for 20 CFO’s, CEO’s, COO’s , OOOOO’s whatever…apparently not… Every time I set up a conference call to make sure we were all on track I was the only one who’d show, in the plethora of e-mails sent back and forth it was lost in translation that the “in house” caterer we use is not affiliated with the Electronics company, they are an independent vendor so they need ..to..be..paid..

This company was just not willing to play ball even though I’d given them all the equipment. The day of the event, 15 mins prior to kick-off they decide that now would be a good time to set up….They wanted extension cords, podiums to be moved, flip charts, markers, wireless access and someone to sit up front and let in the attendees. Let’s say the meeting didn’t start on time. The event planner had no clue about anything, including how to refresh her laptop!

A week ago a van full of guys pull next to me in the parking ramp and when I opened my door to get out so did one the passengers. He had the nerve to tell me to shut my door so he could get out, even though I was there and opened my door first. He didn’t even care that he hit my car with his door. You bet I read him the riot act, sprinkled with a few large curse words for confusion.

I don’t get why people walk in the middle of aisle of the parking ramp-I’ve come close to hitting I don’t know how many people.. I don’t get why every meeting starts late and I get made fun of for being on time.. I don’t get why their idea of going to 8 meetings in a day is the equivalent to being busy.. I don’t get why telling some one “no” because it can’t be done is considered mean, whereas saying “yes” and not getting it done is commended. I don’t get why they expect “miracles” every day; the King of all creation doesn’t create miracles on the daily and I’m only a Princess.
I don’t get it period, and I want out!

Giving Her Up...

A few weeks before my trip I was having some issues sleeping, so I sat up in the dark I watched the cats playing. I’ve always known that my male cat, Gabriel jumped on my female cat, Katie and bit her etc. I always assumed it was him playing and her not wanting to. As I watched them I noticed that he not only bit her but scratched her as well. Scratched her to the point of her bleeding. I swatted him off of her and let it go.

I had also noticed that she was having more frequent episodes of peeing on my stuff and on the carpet. I kept a better eye on them and realized that Gab was sitting at the bottom of the stairs, and when Katie would try to pass him to get to the litter box and he’d bite and scratch her. So she’d go backup stairs. I watched this happen for about 30 mins before interfering and she immediately went into the litter box. I decided right then that it would probably be better to give her up to a better home.


I asked around and it occurred to me that my g-friend Rachel might be the right person. Rachel and her b-friend Chad have a small house with a garden in Minneapolis. They had 4 cats and after 13 years they are now down to one. I called her and asked she said no but there was a young girl that she worked with that was looking to get a cat. Rachel gave me her number and we talked for about an hour and I made her a deal. I told her that since I was going on vacation for 3 days I’d drop Katie off and after I got back she could tell me whether or not she wanted her. If she didn’t, I’d take her back. If so, she was all hers. No harm-no foul.

I dropped Katie off around 9am on Sunday. Loved, hugged and smooched her before I left. I knew this girl would love her. Katie is sweet and docile. This girl didn’t have any other animals, is very cozy with her and isn’t gone all the time like I am. Katie would be getting all the love, petting and attention she needed. I managed to keep it together until I got out to the car, then I lost it.

I called the girl on Thursday when I returned from vacation and she wanted to keep her. I assumed. I feel bad that I had to give her up but I think it’s for the best. Katie has a better home.
Bye- bye my sweet girl…