More of the Airport Chronicles-Cha Ching!

Ok, so I come into work on Tuesday and get an e-mail notice from my boss/g-friend JD indicating that the Asshat from the store across the hall-the one with the “Golden Compass on the floor, yeah well, anyways he reported me to our DM for going into his store and talking to one of his employees. Huh?!

He and I got into it a few months back and I was trying to keep it amicable but nope. He’s the type of asshat who thinks he’s right about…everything. Now he doesn’t want me in his store. Whatever..

My friend Ryan, who recently scored a job with TSA was quitting. It actually was his last day on Sunday, so I swung over across the hall and spent a good 5-10mins in the hall saying goodbye etc. I looked over and saw Manager Asshat peeking around the corner and told the store staff what he was doing. Seemed a bit odd to me, but he is an asshole after all. Well, he told our DM that he was “pretty sure K wasn’t on break and she was in my store”. (eyes rolling) The pettiness of it and the drama of it all-I certainly don’t need it.

JD basically told both of them to get off my back and leave the hell alone. All I did was go talk to the guy-get over it.

It’s awesome having one of your g-friend's as your boss….

On the Odd Side…

Weirder things that have happened in the last several weeks at the airport.

- I saw this actress in my store. Kinda weird seeing her without the limp and no I’m not a fan of the show.

- Had a guy move the lamp and mannequin that are in the front window display and have a seat in the display chair just so he could check out the price of the sheepskin pillows. I nicely told him of get out of my window display and he got pissed, telling his wife that he “didn’t have to take any crap” from me. I figure if you can’t do it at Macy’s you can’t do it here…

- Had a lady come in and try on some clothes. When I asked how it all worked out she rude replied “I won’t be buying anything from you today”. To which I replied “So, I’m thinking that means they didn’t fit”? She proceeds to tell me that she doesn’t like my candor and I point her toward the exit of the store, replying “Excellent, then have a lovely day..”

- A married man comes in and starts flirting with me; telling me how he doesn’t understand how I’m not married blah, blah, blah. In the next breath tells me that I have “veiny, old woman hands” and can tell how old I am by looking at them. He guessed I was 40. I get a bit testy and burst out that I’m not 40 but 38 and that I lift and am an athlete. He replies “I see that your hands are nice and soft, you apparently use a lot of lotion”. My reply, “Does your wife tell you that you shouldn’t go up to ladies and say such things? Just wondering..” Great, now I’m fucking paranoid that my hands look like Madonna’s!!!!

The Airport Chronicles

On Saturday morning, I offered to sub at a sister store in the airport. Now, I get really sarcastic and punchy if I’m tired. Boy was I tired! I was standing talking to one of my co-workers when I noticed this woman intently staring at one of the books. I didn’t think anything of it until I was able to see her from another angle…. I grabbed one of my co-workers and asked if he was seeing what I was seeing…Yep, she was licking the pages! I thought initially I was too tired, perhaps I smoked some pixie dust on my way in…but surely as I was standing; she was licking the pages.

K (bending down to see what she was doing) - “Hey, Watcha doin?”
Woman- “Ummm, looking at this book..”
K- “Well it’s not a scratch and sniff ya know…”
Woman- “oh, I know that, I was just looking at it”
K- “Hmmm, well, I have this .99 birch crayon over here if you have a pica thing going on so…”
Woman- “ummm, no that’s ok….I’m fine”
K- “Ok, ok, well I’ll leave the crayon here in case you change your mind… The book is $26.00 if you’re interested; the photography is by a local photographer..”
Woman- “Ok, thanks….”
She promptly went over to the counter and purchased the book and left…

We had a morning meeting about a “Home office person” came down for a visit and told the Managers that we are to stand in front of the entrances and greet people as they come in…also that we couldn’t stand on the compass that is painted on the floor. We bitched, got mad, rolled the eyes, made comments…whatever…
At some point during the day I found myself standing on the painted compass…
Feeling punchy I started jumping up and down, yelling that I was “standing on the forbidden compass…” and “jumping on the golden compass..” laughing like a crazy person. Just then, I swallowed wrong and started choking. Choking to the point that I couldn’t breathe and tears started rolling down my face. Once I caught my breath, I started laughing; admitting to everyone that that was a prime example of instant karma getting me back for being a smart-ass and a jerk!

The Asst manager also gave us all a “sales incentive” for the day…To sell a painting. In K fashion I declared that I was going to up the ante and sell the giant $152.00 stuffed raccoon they can’t seem to get rid of. So all I did was suggestive sell that damn thing. I tried to sell it to a guy from Kentucky who had a 13 mo old daughter..he opted for a smaller $36.00 stuffed wolf. I tried to sell it to the braggy, old Canadian chic who had a coon hound…she opted for a $19.99 stuffed chickadee. I never did sell that damn thing…Who in the monkey is gonna spring $152.00 for a stuffed raccoon? Well at least I sold a book!